*FINDING MR. ~RIGHTNOW~ TIP*

Choose 10 of the hottest guys in the place. Ask every single one of them to dance/get their number/whatever you goal is. One out of ten has got to say yes.

*FINDING MR. RIGHT TIP*

You’re not going to find love in the bar, or the club. You’ll find sex, you’ll find a boyfriend that you keep for about 3 weeks. More than likely, you’re not going to find love there. Your best bet for finding love these days is the internet. I say this to my single friends all the time. The only real place to find love these days is the internet. It’s not in the grocery store because he forgot cranberries too. It’s not in the laundry mat, sure maybe you’ll see a cute/hot/sexy guy there, but you’re too sober to go talk to him and you probably are dressed gross because “you’re just doing laundry”. The only sure fire place to find your future husband these days is the internet. Don’t be scared.

Night Out On A Secular Holiday

So Mary and I cap the night off of Secular Holiday fun with a night out on the town. Well more like we’re drinking beer in her place waiting for her girlfriend Trisha and her friend Edward. So we’re borderline buzzed/drunk. We get out there we take a little more tequilla in the car. We stagger out to the club. The dance floor is pretty dead but we’re all dancing anyways. I spot one guy who appears to be cute but then I am reassured by Mary that he is not to short of an ugly crater face. Wow was I wrong with my first glace. Unfortunately he spots me as well. We dance away from Crater Face. So I go outside to get some air. Some tall ugly fat guy comes and sits right next to me and starts talking to me. Telling me I’m cute but also making general conversation. He seemed nice even though I was not into him, he runs off. Although he was ugly and fat, my state of mind was like, “What? I’m not good enough for you?”. Not that I was going to go after him I just felt like what the hell, try and pursue me asshole! Anyways. I go back out to dance. Mary and Trisha are having a tiff as per usual. A guy catches my eye and he comes over to Mary and starts dancing with her. He gives her a sip of his drink? Then he moves over to me and gives me a sip of his drink. I don’t know why we just jump into whatever drink random people give us but we do. Ahh, he was drinking from it too so I’m sure he wouldn’t drug himself. Anyways. We’re dancing and I’m trying to make out with him, and even though he’s the one who came after me he’s not going for it. He dances off. Mary and I go outside and take a breather. The guy I was just dancing with comes out side and starts chatting me up. He’s younger. He looks older. He tells me to take his number. I tell him, no you want me you take my number. I aint callin’ no one no more. He gets my number. I give him my house phone. He assumes its a cell number. That’s most likely the last I heard from him. He leaves. Mary and I are talking about her and Trisha, talking about why Trisha is upset. Then I feel something bumping me. I look over and it’s Crater Face humping the side of me while I’m sitting in my chair! I look over, “Are you humping me?” He laughs drunk as hell. Telling me I’m so hot, asking me why I’m hot. I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ASK, “Why are you so hot?” That’s not an answerable question! Just say, “I think you’re really hot.” Anyways so he’s humping me as I’m trying to talk to Mary about her girlfriend and he kept trying to talk to me, so I tell him something along the lines of, “I’m talking to my friend right now.” Which I guess gave him the hint to leave, because he left. So we finally go back inside. Mary and Trisha still fighting for no reason. The reason they’re fighting is because Trisha is drunk and doesn’t even know why she’s upset. Mary wanders off. I’m dancing with Trisha’s friend Edward. I see Crater Face trying to dance with me, he says, “You have to dance with me tonight.” I say, “Yeah okay but later okay?” Then I see a cute guy I go over and dance with him. We’re dancing. An extremely odd looking… I’m not sure if he’s an ironicly ugly hipster… or just a tragic ugly person, but he starts dancing with the guy i’m dancing with from behind. The guy I’m dancing with is not into the ugly guy very obviously but I’m on one end and ugly guy is on the other end. Cute guy seems into me, ugly guy still dancing behind him and I ditch cute boy to go outside. Now he’s dancing with ugly hipster thing haha. Sucks for him. I go outside and I see 3 guys, one cute tall white guy. I finalllllllly get eye contact and he walks over. He tells me what’s up, where should they go. I tell em down the street is a good place. He tells me he’s from BIGCITYTOWN up in the northern part of COUNTRY. I tell him he’s cute, he tells me “I think you’re really sexy, but I have a boyfriend.”. I don’t think he understands the concept of sexy all that much. I wasn’t looking “sexy” that night, hahaha. I was looking hot. There’s a big difference between sexy and hot, I’ll get to that another time. Anyways we’re talking and I try to kiss him but he brings up the boyfriend thing. Something happens where him and his friends part me. I go to the bathroom and I see him waiting outside of the bathroom. I chat him up again. I kiss him on the lips, he kisses me back. I’m sucking on his neck and he keeps saying he’s got a boyfriend. I tell him, “It doesn’t count if you’re in a different area code.” What the hell? I don’t know… I was drunk shut up. So I kiss him again and he kisses me back. We start making out for like 1 minute, he’s smiling. He says again he’s got a boyfriend. I tell him it’s okay. I was thinking, “Oh I’m gonna feel bad about this tomorrow.”. Hmm turns out I don’t. I just feel like laughing about it. Poor guy. Anyways… Crater Face is following me again. Mary and Trisha are nowhere in site. I ask Crater Face for his phone so I can call Mary. Her and Trisha are at the car. I ditch Crater Face and grad Trisha’s friend Edward. We’re walking down the street. We see one of Edwards friends and they’re talking we sneak into the club the friend is at. I go into the bathroom. I see guys pissing at the urinals next to each other making out while pissing. I see guys peeking at my cock as I’m pissing. Whatever, it’s all cool. I go back to the dancefloor, spot a cute guy, try and holler at him. NOT INTERESTED hahaha. I call him a bitch and walk away, hahaha. I go outside for air. I see a cute guy, I muster up some courage to talk to him. He talks back tells me I’m cute. Turns out he’s not so cute up close but now he’s on to me, I want to ditch him and find someone cuter but he askes me to dance. I say sure why not. We’re dancing. Then making out. His breath is bad. Damn reminded me of the guy in the cover band. Anyways. We go into this area with a curtain and are making out. He’s rubbing my crotch. He unbuttons my pants and pulls out my dick. He’s sucking me off for like a minute. I put it away and start sucking him. FLASHLIGHT in my face. He puts it away while the scurity gaurd tells us we gotta go. I have a feeling if I just walked off I could have stayed. The security gaurd didn’t seem like he even cared. So I find Edward and am like, “We gotta go I’m getting kicked out for sucking that guys dick.” As I laugh my way out. We’re walking back to the car. And some guy starts yelling at me, “Damn I’d suck your dick right here right now.” I yell back, “Oh yeah? You aint doing nothing, you’re all talk and no walk huh?” So he comes up to me all up in my face, one the street saying, “you’re too scared.” I’m like (now that i get a close up of his face), “I’m not scared, this is the fucking middle of the street.” In my head it was more like, “No you’re just gross.”. I should have let him do it though, just so I could have something to write about. Darn. So we finally get back to the car and Mary and Trisha are no where to be found. They were off fighting somewhere. Trisha still drunk, me now sober I decide I’ll drive us all home. They made up in the car. Anyways. Good Secular Holiday.

TOP TEN FIRST DATE DON’TS

10. DON’T BREAK A DATE BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT IN THE MOOD.
How many times have I had the strong urge to break a date because I wasn’t up for it emotionally or just too lazy to go out? Many many many times. The funny part about that is, the dates which I usually want to break end up being some of my favorite ones. Just remember even if you’re not up for it, the other person probably is. They may have even been anticipating this date with you the whole week. You can’t let them down just because you’re not feeling it at the moment because you never know what can happen on one simple date.

09. DON’T LEAVE THE DATE BECAUSE YOUR DATE IS NOT UP TO YOUR VISUAL STANDARDS.
I’ve never done this, and I’ve never had this happen to me BUT I can tell you that I’ve heard lots of guys say they’ve actually met with someone and either they were too fat, too ugly or didn’t look like the pictures they had of themselves online. I mean sure it’s one thing for someone to dupe you via fat angles, but it’s unacceptable to be so shallow as to not even give someone a chance based on their appearance. Not to mention you’ll have a reputation as a total asshole. Who knows, they could have an amazing personality. I’ve gone out with guys who were less than my standard for beauty, but the conversation was still good. Besides think how you would feel if someone just left you because they thought you were hideous.

08. DON’T UNDER DRESS.
I cannot tell you how rude it is to show up to a date under dressed. NEVER wear shorts unless you’re going to the beach on your date. I absolutely hate it when a guy is under dressed even if we’re going out to get a beer at a casual bar or restaurant. I cannot stand it. The best bet is to call your date ahead of time and ask him what he’s wearing and you may take it from there.

07. DON’T LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT A PROPER INSPECTION OF YOUR FACE.
This is a major rule to not forget. You do not want to be on the freeway pulling out rouge eyebrows or nose hairs seconds before your date because you just noticed them in the rear view mirror. Or that gross patch of dry skin near your mouth. Or lunch still in your teeth. Or snot coming out of your nose. Not only will you freak out when you notice it in the car on your way there, but even if you fix said problem your mind will still think the problem is there and you’ll be worrying the whole time about it. Check your face for anything before you leave. Check it twice. CHECK IT RIGHT NOW.

06. DON’T FORGET A CONDOM.
Sure you may have the “I don’t screw on the first date” rule. But this is still important anyways. Even if you don’t plan on sex, bring a condom anyways. You never know where things will lead and you never know how many drinks your date might want to buy you that night. Do you know how many guys have told me that they don’t screw on the first date or that the don’t fuck guys they just met? A lot. The funny thing about that is, I can usually get them to go back on their word. So that being said, with guys like me roaming around that can get you to drop your pants no matter how good your intentions are; BRING A CONDOM.

05. DON’T ACT RUDE TO OTHER PEOPLE YOU ENCOUNTER ON THE DATE.
The biggest turn off is someone who is rude to the waitstaff or bartender. It shows a lack of consideration for others and a total disregard of what your date might think of you. It’s also a good idea to tip the service, because if you don’t you will have 2 strike s against you, you’re cheap, and you’re an asshole. Be nice to weird strangers as well, it shows confidence and that you know how to control a situation. Be nice to nice strangers too, that shows that you’re a friendly person and it’ll be easy for you date to want to let you meet their friends. No one likes a standoffish person.

04. DON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR EX.
I hate it when guys talk to death out their ex’s. It shows that not only are they not over them, but it makes them seem like they have nothing else interesting to say about anything else. Also if you’re on a date with someone you’re trying to start something new with why would you want to start it talking about some horrible person you despise? The only reason I ever talk about my ex’s on a date is if I already know I don’t like the guy I’m on the date with and I’m purposely trying to make him turned off by me.

03. DON’T CHECK OUT OTHER PEOPLE.
I’m guilty of this dating sin. I’ve also experienced it on the other side as well. Not only does this show your date you’re not paying full attention to them but you again look like an asshole. And whatever you do, DON’T COMMENT ON THE PERSON YOU’VE JUST CHECKED OUT. I’ve had this happen to me as well. Also don’t FLIRT with anyone who is not your date. I’ve also had that happen to me. WHO DOES THAT?!?! If they’ll do that on the first date, think about how they’ll treat you during the relationship. So don’t do it, keep your eyes on the prize!

02. DON’T BE LATE.
Why? Why do you think? You’re date is waiting on YOU. Do not be late. Be early if anything. Don’t try to act cool by coming 20, 15, or even 10 minutes late. BE ON TIME. No one likes to wait around. Plus you may even scare your date into thinking you’re standing them up. I remember I went on a date once and the guy was at least an hour late. Not only did it put me in a sour mood it made me want to cancel. Be there exactly when you say you will. If you can’t even show up on time what other lame ass shit are you going to be accountable for?

THE GOLDEN RULE

01. DON’T TAKE OUT YOUR CELLPHONE.
Do not, I repeat do not take out your cellphone while on a date. Turn it on silent. If you even are the tiniest bit excited about your date you’ve probably told people that you’re going on one so they don’t need to be calling or texting you. I can’t bare to see a guy texting while we’re out on a first date let alone answer a call while we’re eating dinner. The only acceptable time to pull your phone out is when your date has gone to the bathroom, or you’re in the bathroom. Or your date asks you what provider you have so they can call you for free because they’re so in love with you because you haven’t busted your phone out yet. Otherwise, it should be out of sight and out of mind.

Meat Me At The Ice Cream Truck

So I’m back after popular demand! Sure now everyone knows who’s really behind this blog. I could really care less who knows about me and what I do. I was only hiding my identity safe from the one who would only later reveal who I am. Although what was intended to be a mocking and embarassment to my person has 1. not shamed me being as I have no shame and am proud and willing to share any information about myself to anyone, and 2. it has been a blessing. As I’ve attained lots of new followers now! So expect many new updates happy followers!

*FINDING MR. RIGHT TIP*

Make the first move. This is the number one problem most of you are making in your man quest. Now I know what I said before about finding love in a bar or club, that you most likely will not find it there. BUT I’m not even necessarily talking about finding your dream man. I’m talking about even just getting laid. All I ever hear is, “I don’t talk to guys.” “I don’t make the first move.” “I let them come to me.” And you know what, that’s why you’re single and or that’s why you haven’t gotten laid since you’ve been on craigslist. Make a fucking move. Go up to him. It doesn’t matter if he’s out of your league. Just do it! Ala Nike. Do you know how many times I’ve gotten the guy who I thought was too cute for me or who I thought wouldn’t even look at me? A lot. That’s because I make the move. Sure I’ve been turned down a bunch of times, but who cares? Would you rather get turned down a couple times and make a couple scores. OR would you rather stay your current status and wait for Mr. Hottie to come your way when it will never happen. 

You know why no one ever comes up to you and hits on you? Because they’re waiting for you to come to them. The reason is because every gay guy has this thing where they think they’re the woman and are waiting for someone to ask them to dance/go out/fuck/whatever. So if everyone is the one waiting… What do you think that means? That means no ones asking anyone out. Which is why you need to be the aggressive one and make the move so something can get done in this world. Sure you say well if they’re not going to come to me I shouldn’t bother. No. This diluted thought process of yours is why you’re leaving the club empty handed. Just remember who cares about getting rejected. These days I’m fearless, because it’s like the lottery, you can’t win if you don’t play. Trust me, you’ll be surprised at what you can actually pull. Besides with the way that no one ever gets hit on I’m sure they’ll at least bat an eyelash at you since you’re the only one brave enough to give Mr.Whoever some attention. Trust me on this one. We need more aggressors out there, everyone can’t be waiting so don’t you wait! I have this one friend who thinks that this is what’s going to happen to him. He thinks that he’ll be at the bar and some amazingly hot guy is going to smile at him and mouth the words hi. He’ll respond with hi back. The hot guy will come over to him and buy him a drink. Then it’ll be love at first sight. NO. WRONG. This will never happen. Not to mention, nobody buys strangers drinks these days. Unless maybe you’re straight and living in the 1970’s. So I have a feeling that my friend won’t be finding his husband waiting for this stupid fantasy. By the way he hasn’t had a real boyfriend since high school.

Anyways just remember this, it’s FINE to do the work.

*FINDING MR.RIGHT TIP*

WHEN YOU ARE KISSING A GUY, DO NOT! I REPEAT DO NOT KISS HIS NEARBY FRIEND WHILE HE’S CURRENTLY KISSING YOUR NECK. THIS WILL ONLY LEAD TO YOU LOOSING THEM BOTH, NOT A THREESOME. REMEMBER IT’S OKAY TO HAVE YOUR MOUTH UNOCCUPIED AT CERTAIN TIMES.

- I had to learn this one the hard way.

One Hour

So it’s Saturday night, me and Mary are watching tv and have a shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream. I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and we’re snacking on doritos. Mary makes us two huge screw drivers. We’re waiting for our ride. Bryan picks us up and Richie and Sara and Sara’s straight friend Craig are in the car too. So we’ve taken the bottle of vodka with us in the car. We’re getting pretty drunk. We’re already drunk in the car. Yet, you ever notice when you’re drinking you don’t notice you’re drunk already so you keep drinking more? Well that was me, taking big swigs of tequila and vodka.

9:15 So we get into the club and me and Mary go to the bathroom. We come out to meet each other and all her friends are waiting for us. So we’re still standing by the bathroom for a second and this really fine-ass guy walks by. White guy…I think his hair was black… or… blonde? I was pretty drunk I can’t be worried with details such as hair color. Anyways, he was really good looking. So good looking in fact I figured he wouldn’t even look back at me. But not only did he look back at me, he stopped and was staring at me. So I go over to him and everyone starts making this ruckus going, “Wooooo, Damn!” and other stupid embarassing banter. “I’m sorry my friends are stupid.” He laughs I don’t remember exchanging names but I remember asking him where he’s from. He’s from originally from BIGCITYTOWN but moved to BIGCITYTOWN on the otherside of the Country and then just moved back here 2 months ago. We exchange numbers and start kissing to which my friends start making more noise. I could tell he was just as drunk as I was, which obviously worked in my favor. And you’ve got to be pretty damn drunk if I can recognize that you’re blitzed when I’m sloshed. So he tells me, “You’re really cute.” So I tell him, “So are you!” And we make out for like 3 seconds and he drags me into the bathroom. We’re talking more, and he going to the stall and he’s asking me things about myself and all I can remember thinking is, “Please stop asking me about myself in here, people will know we JUST fucking met and are now going to hook up in the stall.” So the stall becomes open and he leads me in. I start to kiss him and he stops. “Don’t you wanna make out with me?!” “No your breathe tastes like crap.” Hahahahaha he tells me straight out like that. So I’m just all over his neck instead and I don’t know but he told me to take my pants down so I do. And he’s getting behind me and I’m like, “Are you a top?” “Yes” “Damnit… Ahh fuck it I can work with that.” So he got me with my pants down and he’s rubbing my ass and then he starts rimming me in the stall, so I’m jerking off and then we’re getting into it. But I don’t know what happens and I just pull my pants back up and I lead him out of the bathroom. I don’t know why I stopped, I must have been that drunk that I just stopped the fun.

9:30? I think….So he’s holding my hand as we walk out and he takes me to the bar and orders us both a drink and I’m like…. Wow he’s already gotten in my pants and is now buying me a drink. This ones a keeper. And he’s already super drunk, and my brain left my skull a while ago. So I drink whatever drink it is. He takes me by the hand outside. We pass these fat black girls who aren’t that cute but I make it a point to stop and tell them how great they look… why do I always do this? Anyways I’m talking to them for like 10 minutes I think, or thats what it felt like. And then me and Tyler are talking… I think…. I don’t remember but he tells me he’s leaving… I think…. I don’t really remember what happend at the point but I remember him either leaving… or me leaving him…… But IF my intuition is correct, I think he left me and I was mad about it and wanted him to stay. So I’m talking to these black girls all drunk and I then was kicked out of the club for being super drunk.

10:00, So then I’m outside drunk. I don’t know how but I’m now on the concrete. I think I must have fallen. Anyways I’m sitting down and now I’m throwing up while sitting down outside of the club, cars passing by, but I remember not seeing any people walking by. People in the club are probably watching me. So I’m vomiting while sitting, vomiting right in front of my lap and it’s orange… Like the doritos and orange juice from earlier. So I’m now sitting cross legged, and from my call log on my phone I called about 4 people. But from here on out is where I don’t remember that much of anything and this part of the story was retold to me by Holly. Holly comes into the story you say? How?

RETOLD TO ME STORY

10:10, I call Holly on the phone, she lives maybe a mile away from the club.

“Can you pick me up? I got kicked out! I’m a Wrath! Wraaaaaaaath!” She said I sounded like I was going to cry

10:15, Holly drives up, I’m still sitting on the floor. I didn’t even notice her. Mary comes out of NOWHERE and is picking me up trying to take me back into the club, Holly still in her car yells, “Mary! I’m taking Alfie home! He told me to pick him up!” I get in the car and am spitting out of the window alot. I fall asleep. I get to Holly’s apartment. I go into the bathroom, I’m in there for quite a while. She yells, “Are you okay? Can I come in there?” I’m laying on the floor and she’s trying to pick me up and the only part that I remember about that is seeing the shower curtains in my face and my head in the bathtub trying to pick myself up. So I rip off my button shirt and she’s helping me take off my jeans. She took off all my braclets and earings and necklaces and she helped me get into a pair of shorts which she says took like 5 minutes for me to put them on. She brings me water and tylenol. She brought me a towel to wipe my face, “What’s that?” “A towel!” “Oh cool!” I lay on the couch and I pass out. She sits in the living room with me, sewing her halloween costume for about an hour and goes to sleep. She was still awake and just hanging out by the time I called her, she said she expected my call to be a drunken, “Oh come out with us, or I love you.” But no… It was already over by 10 o’clock. One hour. That’s all.

But on a good note, I texted Tyler and he remembered me, he told me he was hung over. I alas was not. I never am. And now I have a date with him on Sunday. Who knew. One hour. It was only one hour.

When I checked my text messages in the morning there were two from Bryan. The first around 9:20 saying, “Hey does that guy have a brother?” Bryan was not drunk and he can vouch for the guy being good looking so I was like good. The second text was around 12:30 saying, “Where are you? Mary, Craig and Sara got kicked out of the club.” What a fine company we keep. One hour. Geez…

Direct from the Slaughterhouse

Just remember guys! Do not be fooled by imitation meat and other rip off “tell-all” blogs, that don’t really tell it all. Meat-Market is the only one which tells you everyside. I’m not here to give false information and half truths. There are no preservatives and no fillers here. I give the 100% real grade A beef. You can read about the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m not here to lie about my conquests. I’m not here to pretend I only go out with amazingly hot, successful guys. I’ll let you know when I’ve screwed someone even I’m embarassed to admit to myself. And I’ll even tell you when I’ve fallen in love with that embarassment and even when that total embarassment kicks ME to the curb. I’ll tell you about my wins but I’ll also tell you about my failures. It’s all real. EXCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

X THREESOME X

One of my only fantasies has always been a threesome. Well I finally got what I’ve dreamed of. Actually remember Stewart? The guy who I felt no real spark with but still talk to as a friend. Well one day we were texting and started talking about 3somes. Well anyways he invited me to a party that night, but I had plans. Turns out he found someone that night and that person spent the night with him. The next morning he tells me I should come over and start this supposed fantasy of mine. So in my head I’m deciding that I need to get out of it for this one. So I get a lot of alcohol and drink it while I head over. I meet the friend Victor. He’s really nice. We all end up watching the rest of The Evil Dead, because the first night with Stewart we didn’t finish it. So Stewart is making us more drinks and we’re all pretty drunk by this time. Both of the guys are kissing on me and we all make it to the bedroom. We’re all in the bedroom, Stewarts tounge in my ass. Victors mouth on my dick. We’re all going at it. Victor tries sticking his dick up my ass. And it HURT. BAD. Because he just rammed it right up there. At this time I’m super drunk and I’ve got mine up Stewart and then I pause. I get up and say, “I’m going to throw up.” I pull out, get up and put my clothes on. I am not going to be vomiting my guts up naked on the toilet i say in my drunk brain. So I’m on the floor hugging the toilet waiting for chunks to blow. I’m over the toilet, my favorite place to throw up is the sink. So I go to the bathroom sink and toss up my mushroom, bell pepper and onion omelet from the morning. Stewart and Victor are in the bathroom patting me on the back and babying me. The upchuck is over now and they take me outside. We’re sitting by the pool and they’re still taking care of me. At this time I’m on a lawn chair, the kind that streches out. I can’t even move at this point. Before I know it, they’ve ordered pizza and hot wings for me to eat. Hmmm shouldn’t eat acidic foods after you’ve just barfed, but hey they don’t know that. A very sweet gesture. So we’re eating. I end up eating MOSTLY ALL OF THE FOOD. Then we’re just hanging out and talking for an hour or so, until I can actually get up. IT’S NOT EVEN FOUR IN THE AFTERNOON YET! So we finally go back inside. We’re watching Killer Klowns from Outerspace… I’m still drunk as hell. I’m scouring Stewarts refridgerator looking for any food. I end up eating like 4 hot dogs… Still drunk as a skunk. More tv. More chatting. Now it’s about 7, me and Victor start making out. The sun is down. Stewart says he’s tired and wants to go to sleep. Me and Victor follow. I end up screwing Stewart. WITHOUT A CONDOM. FUCK. My drunken mind didn’t do me any good there. I cum, Victor watching the whole thing seemed very turned on. Anyways I cum, they cum. I pick up my shit and amscray. I had work the next morning. STILL DRUNK. I drive home. All I remember is my head barely staying up and “Are you Experienced” from Jimmy Hendrix blasting from my ipod. I go home, I crash. I wake up for work. STILL DRUNK.

I was fine at work after an hour but Jesus. I didn’t realize how much I had to drink.

As for my threesome. It was fine. my fantasy had become reality. I doubt I’d do it again. I mean, sure it was fun and all. But I mean. I think… I don’t know. I mean yeah it was fun and all but I think the one on one experience is easier and more fufilling. Threesome fantasy fufilled. No need to try again. I’m also not basing this on my throwing up or anything. I’m basing this solely on the sexual experience.

Also don’t worry I got checked at the REAL doctors office this time for any STDs after my stupidly drunk move of no condom usage. I’m safe. Thank GOD.